Time to Talk

first_img Bower said parents who don’t already have an open, communicative relationship with their teen-age children, though, shouldn’t expect that to suddenly change. “Many teens will continue to clam up,” Bower said. “Some will say some outlandish things to test their parents.” Teens often won’t open up with parents out of fear of being punished or judged. “They may talk more openly with grandparents, neighbors, teachers and other trusted adults,” he said. Opening lines of communication is more than talking and listening. “Part of it is spending time together,” he said. “It’s initiating opportunities that don’t just happen with today’s hectic schedules.” Schools and families today, he said, often have fewer adults giving concentrated time to children. And adults are vital in children’s lives. “It’s well documented that children with caring adults more actively involved in their lives do much better than kids who have less of that,” Bower said. But school violence isn’t an issue just for schools. “We know that violence is a learned response,” he said. “Children learn how to solve their problems through a great many ways in our society.” As tragic as school shootings like the May 20 Atlanta incident are, a University of Georgia expert says parents and other adultswho work with teen-agers can find a silver lining.”Parents can take it as an opportunity to start talking with, and listening to,their teens,” said Don Bower, an associateprofessor of children, youth and families with the UGA College of Family and Consumer Sciences.Even that good side, he said, can turn ugly if parents approach it wrong.”Take the time to sit down and talk with them, not tothem,” he said. “Stifle the urge to lecture. Just try to get them to help youunderstand what’s going on in their lives. Ask them what their friends are saying, andunderstand that that is likely what your child is thinking as well.”Bower specializes in parenting education, adolescent development and at-risk youth. Heurges parents and other adults to search with their teens for ways to prevent such violentoutbreaks.”The immediate tendency is to look for people or situations to blame,” hesaid. “But it’s more constructive to talk about the responsibility all of us share –individuals, families and communities — to see that this sort of thing doesn’t happenagain.”Get Teens to Open Up No Simple Answers Time With Caring Adultscenter_img Lower Risk of Shootings Bower said there isn’t a simple way to prevent another school shooting. But being able to talk with teens and listen to their problems is part of the answer. “Teens generally know the students who are more likely to act out in violent ways,” Bower said. “But they can’t tell, any more than anyone else, which ones will actually go over the edge. Teens are also sensitive about turning in friends for what may be nothing.” Fellow students may be less likely than adults to offer the help troubled students need. “They don’t want to be perceived as friends to kids who are less popular,” he said. “A few may be sufficiently empathic that they try to befriend them. But most don’t. That’s a skill, however, that parents and teachers can model.” Despite all the media coverage of the shootings, Bower said, the rate of school violence is actually down. And the fast-approaching summer break will help cool down the perception and the risk of more shootings. “The end of the school year is a stressful time,” he said. “And there’s a pattern of copycat behaviors — troubled kids see the notoriety others get, and they’re tempted to act out those behaviors.” With school out for the summer, media coverage will subside. And school systems are now much more aware of potential problems. Bower said he expects the risks will be much lower when children return to school in the fall.last_img read more

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‘If United seal this £157m deal, I’ll put £50 on Sunderland to win the league!’

first_imgNeymar’s agent, Wagner Ribeiro, has been talking up interest in his client ahead of the summer transfer window.The Brazil international, according to Ribeiro, is available if his £157m release clause at Barca is met and apparently three clubs are interested in his signature.“There are three big clubs in the world that want to sign Neymar and pay a clause of €200m to Barcelona.“I cannot say more than this because it is sensistive. I can only guarantee that Neymar is happy at Barcelona.”Manchester United, Paris Saint-Germain and Real Madrid are allegedly the clubs prepared to spend big to sign the La Liga superstar.But United fans, in particular, aren’t buying the rumour. Read what a section have had to say below… 1 Neymar in action for Barcelona last season last_img read more

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